What can you do when in a "Shame" spiral
Asked by Lee Nashua, NH in Nashua
People who have a history with learning disabilities , emotional abuse or just every day trauma. Yes, it's everyday and everyone gets a dose of ''embarassment" with a poor performance. It usually happens when confidence and expectations for success are high and what follows is a dissappointing outcome. It can feel like a punch in the gut. But, but, but, I tried, I prepared, I worked hard at this and "bleah". It can feel like a rejection, shunning, disdain from others. It feels like being invited on a camping trip to the beach and you wake up at 5am, the tides coming in, it's only 6 feet away and you look around and everybody else left you there and went into the big house for shelter. They left your sorry self out there alone and exposed !
What can you do? SELF SOOTHE - what makes you happy? A little shopping trip, a nice dinner, a walk with the dog. You can remind your self that you are still OK, still a talented interesting person and you are still a member of the human race. You can breathe, deal, feel and let it pass. Those who dare greatly, are bound to fail, because their grasp exceeded their reach. What does it teach ? Compassion for others, Self Care, and the ability to "right" yourself after a fail. By the way, you're in good company.